Meet-ups w/ people from forums while on a holiday/vacation

Mozzy1

New Member
Have you ever gone on a holiday/vacation that you've waited a LONG time for yet, once the time comes, you feel a bit "sickened" or "worried"? Have you not even felt excited about it b/c of all the "work" involved & social aspects you don't want to endure?

The reason I ask this is b/c there's a meet-up (again) for my favorite band. Every sticken time I go on a holiday, there's always a meet-up like this. I am never really formally asked in a PM from friends if I'm totally going so, I just believe that no-one could give a fig whether or not I am. I know, I should ask them & at least be a friend too, this I will admit, I'm very WRONG in not being a good one (friend) so, I take the blame on this. However, if no-one asks you, I assume they just don't care either way.

Have you ever been to a place for a meet-up during your trip & yet, once you walked into the door, you realized it's just not a good time or a mistake? It's like you felt people's eyes run up & down you, critiquing you, thinking trash about you yet, they do NOT even know you? That's what I feel like will happen to me at this upcoming meet-up at least I'm honest though. I feel like I'm FATTER & more f'ugly (she's not f'ugly but, that's what I am myself) than Beth Ditto & her spandex!!!!

Sure, we ALL have every God-given right to do whatever we want, whereever we want but, seriously speaking, once you walk into the place, you're ultimately judged accordingly (& these people don't even KNOW you, your personality nor mentality). It's just sickening...

Bottom line, would you go to these meet-ups thinking positively that maybe you will find "the one" that night or more friends or just not go but, revel in the fact that even if you did NOT go, people would still talk trash about you?
 
Have you ever gone on a holiday/vacation that you've waited a LONG time for yet, once the time comes, you feel a bit "sickened" or "worried"? Have you not even felt excited about it b/c of all the "work" involved & social aspects you don't want to endure?

The reason I ask this is b/c there's a meet-up (again) for my favorite band. Every sticken time I go on a holiday, there's always a meet-up like this. I am never really formally asked in a PM from friends if I'm totally going so, I just believe that no-one could give a fig whether or not I am. I know, I should ask them & at least be a friend too, this I will admit, I'm very WRONG in not being a good one (friend) so, I take the blame on this. However, if no-one asks you, I assume they just don't care either way.

Have you ever been to a place for a meet-up during your trip & yet, once you walked into the door, you realized it's just not a good time or a mistake? It's like you felt people's eyes run up & down you, critiquing you, thinking trash about you yet, they do NOT even know you? That's what I feel like will happen to me at this upcoming meet-up at least I'm honest though. I feel like I'm FATTER & more f'ugly (she's not f'ugly but, that's what I am myself) than Beth Ditto & her spandex!!!!

Sure, we ALL have every God-given right to do whatever we want, whereever we want but, seriously speaking, once you walk into the place, you're ultimately judged accordingly (& these people don't even KNOW you, your personality nor mentality). It's just sickening...

Bottom line, would you go to these meet-ups thinking positively that maybe you will find "the one" that night or more friends or just not go but, revel in the fact that even if you did NOT go, people would still talk trash about you?

It's a valid concern if you're fat. I've met a few people from solo at Moz shows and many of them have mentioned that I am fat while discussing the show on solo after the concert. And they always say it in such a mean way as if it says something awful about me when they have no idea of the medical issues I am living with that have contributed to my being fat. I have developed quite a phobia of social gatherings due to the things that have been said about my appearance on solo, to be honest.

It's a shame.
 
It's a valid concern if you're fat. I've met a few people from solo at Moz shows and many of them have mentioned that I am fat while discussing the show on solo after the concert. And they always say it in such a mean way as if it says something awful about me when they have no idea of the medical issues I am living with that have contributed to my being fat. I have developed quite a phobia of social gatherings due to the things that have been said about my appearance on solo, to be honest.

It's a shame.

I am sorry this has happened. I don't know what to say about someone that would mention your weight while meeting after the show. If they post about it on here it just shows they aren't a very quality person. I'm sure there are other people at these events that would talk to you as a person and not be concerned with how you fit into society's definitions of perfect body shape.
 
It's a valid concern if you're fat. I've met a few people from solo at Moz shows and many of them have mentioned that I am fat while discussing the show on solo after the concert. And they always say it in such a mean way as if it says something awful about me when they have no idea of the medical issues I am living with that have contributed to my being fat. I have developed quite a phobia of social gatherings due to the things that have been said about my appearance on solo, to be honest.

It's a shame.

It is, but people can be complete cretins at times...:mad:

If people would say that about you, then it's their problem.
 
Have you ever gone on a holiday/vacation that you've waited a LONG time for yet, once the time comes, you feel a bit "sickened" or "worried"? Have you not even felt excited about it b/c of all the "work" involved & social aspects you don't want to endure?

The reason I ask this is b/c there's a meet-up (again) for my favorite band. Every sticken time I go on a holiday, there's always a meet-up like this. I am never really formally asked in a PM from friends if I'm totally going so, I just believe that no-one could give a fig whether or not I am. I know, I should ask them & at least be a friend too, this I will admit, I'm very WRONG in not being a good one (friend) so, I take the blame on this. However, if no-one asks you, I assume they just don't care either way.

Have you ever been to a place for a meet-up during your trip & yet, once you walked into the door, you realized it's just not a good time or a mistake? It's like you felt people's eyes run up & down you, critiquing you, thinking trash about you yet, they do NOT even know you? That's what I feel like will happen to me at this upcoming meet-up at least I'm honest though. I feel like I'm FATTER & more f'ugly (she's not f'ugly but, that's what I am myself) than Beth Ditto & her spandex!!!!

Sure, we ALL have every God-given right to do whatever we want, whereever we want but, seriously speaking, once you walk into the place, you're ultimately judged accordingly (& these people don't even KNOW you, your personality nor mentality). It's just sickening...

Bottom line, would you go to these meet-ups thinking positively that maybe you will find "the one" that night or more friends or just not go but, revel in the fact that even if you did NOT go, people would still talk trash about you?



It's like you felt people's eyes run up & down you, critiquing you, thinking trash about you yet, they do NOT even know you?

I met NRitH last Friday. :rolleyes: ;)

mozzy1, free your mind and the rest will follow. Go if you want to go, surely others would like to meet you. And if people are going to be shallow bastards to you (before, during or after getting to know them) move onto the next group of people. Don't spoil your own fun by worrying what others may think. Be Yourself, Free Yourself I really hope you go to the meet up. I know you won't regret it.

Scarlet, I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, too. People are cruel w/no manners. Are the users still around here? :mad: *clenches fists*

A long time best friend of mine is a very large woman and I used to hear remarks all the time about 'why do I even hang out with her" :confused::mad: I don't care who said it to me, I gave them an earful. :gun:
 
I was shitting me pants when I walked into the bar at a Morrissey gig myself this year but I met a few fellow fans and they were lovely (Wonder where they are now *waves*). They pointed out a few Moz-solo'ers and I was too nevous to say hi... Morrissey the 23rd was one I think. I felt like a tit saying my screen name but us Mozzers and Mozzettes (the 'real' ones) are nice people in my experience. Sorry to hear it if you've haven't had this treatment.
 
Scarlett Ibis:

I admire you. I think it's brave yet, very kind of what you posted. I wish you love, luck & success. God Bless.

Corrissey: I will try but, I'm still on the see-saw about it. I'm glad I admitted what I feel every sticken time though. Just walking into the place knowing about the crap is awful. Yet, I have EVERY right as them to be there as they do too. Your advice about freeing your mind IS empowering. I just have to rememeber to do that when I walk in.

Mozzette: I felt like you have so many times. Even when I was thin & had a prettier face. I'm glad though, you had the real courage to go in, be who you are!
 
Mozzette: I felt like you have so many times. Even when I was thin & had a prettier face. I'm glad though, you had the real courage to go in, be who you are!

I obviously don't know what you look like but I bet you still have all that! Why wouldn't you. Being big or small doesn't matter. It's not you with the problem. it's the people who obviously aren't happy with themselves ...they have to take it out on others. When I meet people like this I walk away. Negative people are unhealthy to know...in my 'well researched' opinion of course! :)
 
A long time best friend of mine is a very large woman and I used to hear remarks all the time about 'why do I even hang out with her"

I'm dying to hear their reasoning :confused: What bad can come out of having a large best friend?
 
Seriously, I am just asking about if people have ever had these experiences about walking into a meet-up & feeling like crap b/c everyone else is better than you there?

However, in retrospect, I'm NOT all that bad. I mean, I went a few times to the Star & Garter in Manchester. I had ok times but, some of the night was my own fault. I have been to all of the other meet-ups assembled too, for the band I like.

I think for me, it's the initial attraction of walking in, not feeling like crap or judged & moving on to people that CARE that I'm there. You know what I mean? It should be walking tall, knowing I have every right to be there as everyone else & then, thinking positive that maybe I'll meet a great guy. (which is what I always think once I'm inside & settled) It's just GETTING settled that is the worst.
 
I think for me, it's the initial attraction of walking in, not feeling like crap or judged & moving on to people that CARE that I'm there.

I feel like this but you only get to that stage when you have gone through the walking in part, made an effort to get to know people and made friends with them. The hardest part will be the 'walking in' the rest will be easy (like anything in life the first, unknown bit is the worst).
Just be yourself, if it's easier take a friend. Whats the worst that can happen?...you ain't gonna die by stepping in and having a laugh. :)
 
Corrissey: I will try but, I'm still on the see-saw about it. I'm glad I admitted what I feel every sticken time though. Just walking into the place knowing about the crap is awful. Yet, I have EVERY right as them to be there as they do too. Your advice about freeing your mind IS empowering. I just have to rememeber to do that when I walk in.

Go with a friend...so at least you're guaranteed a good time. :)

Thanks, but En Vogue gets partial credit ;)


I'm dying to hear their reasoning :confused: What bad can come out of having a large best friend?

Thank you. They must feel ashamed for me to hang out with her. :rolleyes:
An old boyfriend's friend said that it would 'hurt my chances to meet men'. :rolleyes: He drank gin straight from the bottle. :rolleyes:
 
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I have a couple larger mates but they have no problem pulling and I have no issues going out with them. Weight, colour, sex, species :)D) has nothing to do with whether or not your going to have a good time etc.
I can have a good time on my own...sadly haha! No wonder I am single....:rolleyes:
 
1) Whom have you all met in person here? I would just fall over if I met a great man there who liked the band & me too...I met a few of the old-timers (lol) from years before at the nights I went to the Star & Garter. Some people that are here now (meaning that still post on this forum) can vouch for this. Everyone was cool. It was still very uneasy though.

2) Has anyone ever stressed over a holiday b/c of the work involved? Seriously, I just can't wait to relax, drink, de-stress & not focus on work responsibilities...I'm flying to London in a few days for the gig on Tuesday of next week. Hence too, why I'm stressing over work/the meet-up/travelling.
 
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I'm meeting oye terance on Monday in Boston!

As long as he gets the beers in, I'm not bothered what he looks like:D

Jukebox Jury
 
Re: Meet-ups w/ people from forums while on a holiday/vacation...

Do these threads ever help you or/and do you listen to any of the advice given?

1) Why do you ask this question? Why do you care?

2) I understand that this seems "repetitive" but, I'm trying to be logical & yet sensitive seeking if anyone else might have this situation. There's quite a few people as members of this forum therefore, I'm looking for opinions as other views.
 
I have a couple larger mates but they have no problem pulling and I have no issues going out with them. Weight, colour, sex, species :)D) has nothing to do with whether or not your going to have a good time etc.

Big mates are handy if there's a scrap going down. :)

re meet-ups; I know name tags are a bit naff, but they'd be really useful at gigs for spotting Solo-ists I've chatted to but wouldn't recognise physically.
 
1) Whom have you all met in person here? I would just fall over if I met a great man there who liked the band & me too...I met a few of the old-timers (lol) from years before at the nights I went to the Star & Garter. Some people that are here now (meaning that still post on this forum) can vouch for this. Everyone was cool. It was still very uneasy though.

2) Has anyone ever stressed over a holiday b/c of the work involved? Seriously, I just can't wait to relax, drink, de-stress & not focus on work responsibilities...I'm flying to London in a few days for the gig on Tuesday of next week. Hence too, why I'm stressing over work/the meet-up/travelling.

I have met numerous people from here, in person. Some I still hang out with, some I just know enough to say hi to. Nothing requires that you take an online friendship and extend it out into the real world. That's the benefit of the internet, might as well make the most of it.

So don't go to the meetup. Or, go but just don't introduce yourself. Lurk for a little while until you get a good sense of the tone. But odds are, others are just as nervous as you are.

Yes, going on vacation is stressful. What gig are you going over for?
 
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