...in case anyone's interested.

I wrote a paper deploring the current music scene (with many insults directed towards "Broccoli" Spears and Insane Clown Posse) and I used some lines from "Panic" ("Burn down the disco / Hang the blessed DJ / Because the music that they constantly play / IT SAYS NOTHING TO ME ABOUT MY LIFE"--It's in caps in the lyric book, anyway) for an epigraph, in addition to mentioning Morrissey's biting comment about the Band Aid song (I think it was for Band Aid; I'm a mere novice when it comes to Morrissey, since I've only been a rabid fan for about 7 months now). Unfortunately, when my professor read my paper to the class, he botched the epigraph (apparently, he didn't realize that the caps were part of the quote, which kinda ruined the point I was trying to make by using it to introduce my paper), but he did claim to remember when Morrissey made fun of the Band Aid song ("He got into a lot of trouble for that one"). This from a man who thought that Bob Dylan was dead ("Must be those cortisone shots"). Of course, none of my classmates have even heard of The Smiths, even though they can't be much younger than me (I'm 22). My friend has never heard of The Smiths or Morrissey (she thought that Morrissey was the name of a band) and she's 21. Sadly, she's into bands like Hoobastank.

Another interesting thing: The same professor noted on one of my papers (about Philip Larkin's poem "Aubade") that A.E. Housman (one of Morrissey's favorite poets, right?) used to sprint up the stairs at Oxford, hoping he would drop dead at the top (I had mentioned something similar about how I have heart palpitations when I run up a huge flight of stairs at school; most days, I don't want to drop dead, though).

Finally, I have to recommend two excellent books (besides "James Dean Is Not Dead"): "Spirite" by Theophile Gautier (a beautiful and surreal love story) and "Something Happened" by Joseph Heller (it's like reading my biography, or autobiography, which is kind of unsettling, especially since it's so damn depressing so far).

Well, I'd better stop wasting my, and your, time and get back to doing research for the paper I have to write for my Oscar Wilde seminar (I think I'm taking this Moz fascination a little too far; I signed up for the class largely because of Morrissey's endorsement of Wilde; but, I also fell in love with Wilde's work for its own merits). Hope I haven't bored anyone; I just had to share my lame Morrissey story with someone, since I don't know anyone who likes him or his music (actually, I don't know anyone PERIOD, but that's another story).

Thank you Alicia, you remind me of what it was to be that age. To feel that's it just you armed with these records and words against the whole horrible world. Don't let the fire be extinguished, and I'm sure you'll find some other Morrissey fans out there. We tend to hide away a bit at times, never the colour, always the shade.

Is there really a band called "Hoobastank"? I shudder to think what they sound like.

LoF

How old are you, if you don't mind my asking?

Yes, I definitely DO feel as though it's me against the rest of the uncaring world. Morrissey and The Smiths have been such a comfort to me. Listening to Moz's lyrics is like reading my life story! I seriously doubt that I'll find any Moz fans because I don't get out much (I'm frighteningly similar to Moz in his late teens/early twenties--I'm always in my dorm room. When I do emerge, I have to squint, even on the cloudiest days, because the sky bothers me. My isolation is truly unhealthy, but I don't know what to do about it. Even when I had "friends" (who ditched me after high school), they weren't really true friends. Now I'm going to be graduating in a month, and I have to deal with the real world of boring, soul-deadening, mind-numbing work (probably office work in my case because I have no idea what I want to do; being a musician, of course, is the ultimate dream, but I have absolutely no musical skills, so that's out of the question). Unfortunately, the fire is dangerously close to being extinguished, and the lyric that pertains the most to my life right now is, "I think about life and I think about death / And neither one particularly appeals to me." But I guess I just have to keep on truckin', as the saying goes.

Yes, Hoobastank is really a band. One of those rap/rock/metal hybrids, I believe, although I would never actually want to listen to them to find out for sure.

Why the moniker "Librarian on Fire?" Are you a librarian?

Sorry if I'm depressing anyone who's reading my posts!

Well yes, do 'keep on trucking'. There's a lovely determined underdog theme in your posts, if you don't mind me saying so. Often in life you have plant your own garden instead of waiting for others to bring flowers to you. I would never be so flippant and say, "Go join a club" to meet people. Often in unexpected ways you find and meet new people. You've seen the wisdom of those who weren't really your friends go, so feel confindent and proud that you made that realisation. There's often joy in the many small things in life. It is quite unrealistic for us to ask people at a early age "what do you want to do with your life". I never knew what I wanted to do when I left school, and I don't expect others to know. Life is very much like a jigsaw. Sometimes the pieces fit, sometimes the pieces are in the wrong place and often, the pieces are never found.

Hang in there Alicia, I'm sure that a bright young thing like you has much to offer to people. It'll come.

My age, oh just a 30 something, and not a librarian but a Library Manager. After all this time my anonymity is blown. Oh well.

LoF

Enjoyed your post. You're not alone. The NME voting of the Smiths as most influntial artist seems to suggest their is a massive undercurrent of malcontents and outsiders in our midsts. You just need to hang out in the right places to find them.

Oscar Wilde is magical. One of my best memories from last year was visiting the British Library and seeing all the orginal manuscripts for things like 'Importance of being earnest' amongst loads of letters and personal correspondence etc .. all long hand written, under glass and absolutely fascinating to look at work in progress in such a way. A great piece of histiry preserved. Another intesrting exhibit was the business card that was passed to Wilde accusing him of being a sodomite.. In this day and age, quite a tame accusation!

Ruffian

> My age, oh just a 30 something, and not a librarian but a Library Manager.
> After all this time my anonymity is blown. Oh well.

Maybe I could print your address here too, so some of your fans couold wait outide your house when you go to work in the morning.

STH

> My age, oh just a 30 something, and not a librarian but a Library Manager.
> After all this time my anonymity is blown. Oh well.

In case Alicia didn't know this, Morrissey put out a song on his first solo outing called "Hairdresser on Fire," hence LoF's moniker.

Hi alicia, Where do you live if you don't mind me asking?
Great that you finally got into The smiths and Morrissey , music that has helped me through tons of tough times! I'm barely turning 19 and i can't believe it when i think i got into The Smiths when I was 15. I live in small town in California Near Nevada almost and could never relate to any of my friends who were and are still into far, far different music than I am. I swear i listened to The smiths And Morrissey for 2 years straight everyday until i finally decided to expand my music horizons and I'm into tons of great music and bands. (Well in my opinion they are great!) But They are what opened up the whole world of music for me and made me feel like i had an escape in my life. There is so much crappy music out today I'm surprised i didn't fall into the mtv trap and become a boy band addict. You really have to look hard to find good music when all your friends listen to whatever is on the radio and you despise 99% of it! Plus it leaves you with noone to go to shows with which was my case when i had to drag my sister along to see Morrissey with me the first few timeS!

You seem to be going in the right direction. And hey if you want to be a musician be one! take a guitar class, singing class anything . I feel the same way as you, I graduated High school a year ago and have done NOTHING since. I've been terrible lonely,got my heart broken.. And contemplated life not being worth all this crap in the first place. But good music always makes me feel alive again. Or for the time being.. i'm moving out of my hick town soon. Woo hoo. Sorry for all my babbling but thought i'd share my story with you! Hope you get to see Morrissey IF he tours again.

"Determined underdog" is an apt way of describing me. Thanks, Librarian on Fire! And, yes, I am aware of Moz's "Hairdresser on Fire." Great song!

Hey Unrulygirl, I live in New Jersey, land of the Turnpike and home of the Sopranos, when I'm not in school in Pennsylvania. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has encountered people who have no interest in The Smiths/Morrissey. What other bands do you like? I love all kinds of music; for example, The Clash got me through my freshman year of college, and Hank Williams, Sr. (NOT Mr. Monday Night Football theme song, thank you very much!) got me through sophomore year. I'm not familiar with California's geography: do you live anywhere near Morrissey?

I definitely think of The Smiths/Morrissey as an escape. I had to listen to The Smiths...Best of II twice just to get me through today, for today I was introduced to the wonderful world of repaying my student loans. According to the oh-so-accommodating folks in the government, it should only take me 10 years to pay back $20,000, plus interest. Somehow, I think it's going to take me much longer than it should. I should probably be looking for a job instead of "wasting my time" (as several unimaginative people might say) listening to music, but jobs are scarce, job websites and my college's Career Services (and I use the term loosely) center are decidedly NOT helpful, classifieds suck, and contacts have gotten me nowhere. I guess I should try temping and try to do some freelance writing on the side (my professors seem to like my writing, although I'M not exactly bowled over by it). What are you going to do with the rest of your life, Unrulygirl (and others)?

What are the radio stations like over in Hickville, Unrulygirl? In Philly, the only semi-decent station is WXPN, the University of Pennsylvania's station (they actually called "The Queen Is Dead" a classic album!). Other than that it's all mass-produced dreck.

I'm glad SOMEONE thinks I'm going in the right direction because I, for one, think I'm terribly lost.

What about college, Unrulygirl? Becoming entrenched in serious debt and realizing that you've probably wasted 4 years of your life is FUN!!! Well, maybe it wasn't a complete waste; with my B.A., I could become a SENIOR filing clerk (I was a filing clerk in a law office in high school for two years; didn't Morrissey have a similar job for two weeks, or something?)!

Good music (and good literature, and good movies) is the ONLY thing that makes me feel alive! But (wo)man cannot live by music alone. Sadly, I must learn how to be (gulp) practical and "everyday" if I want to play the game of survival. Unless I magically transform into a female Morrissey overnight. What WOULD he be doing now if he hadn't become famous? Does anyone here seriously think he would have committed suicide?

I definitely want to see Morrissey if he decides to show up in my neck of the woods. Unfortunately, I don't have anyone I can drag along with me (don't think my mother would be too keen; she believes that he can't sing, although she does like "I've Changed My Plea To Guilty." Go figure.).

Well, enough of my rambling! I shouldn't assume that any of you guys (and gals) care one iota about my miserable life!

Film suggestion: "NICO:ICON"--Of course, I am now obsessed with Nico, thanks to Moz's endorsement of her. I was amazed that they had not one, but TWO copies of this moving film about Nico in WOW! Videos. I didn't even know it existed, I just happened to see it as I searched in vain for a Morrissey video (strangely enough, I have never seen Moz in action, and I've never heard him speak in normal conversation ("Sorrow Will Come In The End" doesn't really count), and IT'S KILLING ME!!! Is it me, or is he the sexiest man alive OR dead (and I don't mean that in a drooling-all-over-him kind of way; his MIND is the sexiest thing about him)).

OK, I really have to stop now. This is what happens when you don't talk to people for five days in a row! BEWARE!!!

> Becoming entrenched in serious debt and
> realizing that you've probably wasted 4 years of your life is FUN!!! Well,
> maybe it wasn't a complete waste; with my B.A., I could become a SENIOR
> filing clerk

The story of my life.

Look on the bright side though; find yourself a nice quiet office(preferably government or voluntary sector) with a PC facing the wall and you can play around on the internet all day and talk to like-minded Smiths and Morrissey fans while your boss thinks your working your socks off.

It's not a bad way to make a living.

B e'D (slacking off work again)

> Hey Unrulygirl, I live in New Jersey, land of the Turnpike and home of the
> Sopranos, when I'm not in school in Pennsylvania. It's nice to know that
> I'm not the only one who has encountered people who have no interest in
> The Smiths/Morrissey. What other bands do you like? I love all kinds of
> music; for example, The Clash got me through my freshman year of college,
> and Hank Williams, Sr. (NOT Mr. Monday Night Football theme song, thank
> you very much!) got me through sophomore year. I'm not familiar with
> California's geography: do you live anywhere near Morrissey?

Oh i love all kinds of bands, The clash are a favorite I broke out London calling again recently and have had it on repeat for 2 weeks! I love Gene (morrissey likes them as well check 'em out) The jam, pulp, slowdive, ride, all kinds of stuff. I live about an hour and a half from Los angeles. I've driven by morrissey's house a total of 3 times. Shoot me but it's hard whenever i'm in LA not to glance at it! Every fan in CA seems to know where it's at by now. Some people like to sit outside his house but i'd be too scared he'd think i was wearing out my welcome or something. I'd still like to leave him flowers for his birthday sometime though.

> I definitely think of The Smiths/Morrissey as an escape. I had to listen
> to The Smiths...Best of II twice just to get me through today, for today I
> was introduced to the wonderful world of repaying my student loans.
> According to the oh-so-accommodating folks in the government, it should
> only take me 10 years to pay back $20,000, plus interest. Somehow, I think
> it's going to take me much longer than it should. I should probably be
> looking for a job instead of "wasting my time" (as several
> unimaginative people might say) listening to music, but jobs are scarce,
> job websites and my college's Career Services (and I use the term loosely)
> center are decidedly NOT helpful, classifieds suck, and contacts have
> gotten me nowhere. I guess I should try temping and try to do some
> freelance writing on the side (my professors seem to like my writing,
> although I'M not exactly bowled over by it). What are you going to do with
> the rest of your life, Unrulygirl (and others)?

I have no idea what I'm doing! I'm at a loss as of now.. I am into psychology and things but not sure if i want to go into the field. I'm moving to New york to a town called "watertown" in June so i guess i will go to school there and hopefully figure out what to do with myself. Have you heard of it? It's near canada .

> What are the radio stations like over in Hickville, Unrulygirl? In Philly,
> the only semi-decent station is WXPN, the University of Pennsylvania's
> station (they actually called "The Queen Is Dead" a classic
> album!). Other than that it's all mass-produced dreck.

I don't really live in a city called hickvile.. haha. I just call it that because it's boring, small, has nothing but country hicks or stoners and is completely close-minded.

> What about college, Unrulygirl? Becoming entrenched in serious debt and
> realizing that you've probably wasted 4 years of your life is FUN!!! Well,
> maybe it wasn't a complete waste; with my B.A., I could become a SENIOR
> filing clerk (I was a filing clerk in a law office in high school for two
> years; didn't Morrissey have a similar job for two weeks, or something?)!

I think he did but i'm not sure. Don't you make a pretty good salary as a filing clerk? I'm sure you didn't waste 4 years and if you aren't happy with them go back to school to do something else :-P Then again you can always dorp out and go work at a library

> Good music (and good literature, and good movies) is the ONLY thing that
> makes me feel alive! But (wo)man cannot live by music alone. Sadly, I must
> learn how to be (gulp) practical and "everyday" if I want to
> play the game of survival. Unless I magically transform into a female
> Morrissey overnight. What WOULD he be doing now if he hadn't become
> famous? Does anyone here seriously think he would have committed suicide?

he would have become a famous author of course! Suicide no..he loves himself far too much for that.. besides he knew he'd become famous all of his life that's how brilliant he is.

> I definitely want to see Morrissey if he decides to show up in my neck of
> the woods. Unfortunately, I don't have anyone I can drag along with me
> (don't think my mother would be too keen; she believes that he can't sing,
> although she does like "I've Changed My Plea To Guilty." Go
> figure.).

Don't know much about the geography over there but if moz ever shows up in NYC i'd hope to see him there. Maybe you could drag your mom to a show.. i know my mom can tolerate him because she loves elvis and I played her the elvis song that was sampled on RANK! Plus all the other Elvis /morrissey occurances that i pointed out to her.

Good luck in school!

that was me who posted that. i have no idea why is says "psh"